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Looking out the window...
stripped bare
Monday, February 28, 2005
I'm back!
I am back!!

It's great to be on Canadian soil! I had a fantastic week, one of the best in my life actually; I am already anticipating next years trip somewhere, hopefully with the same group of people.

So we left on Saturday at around 5:00pm and then drove 21 hours, yup a whole 21! I drove 16 hours on the way there, Christina took a 2 hour shift near the start of the trip then 3 hours in the middle. It was around 1:00 the next day when we finally hit Fort Smith. And it was sunny! The first day was kind of empty planning wise since we didn't know when we would arrive and we knew that we would be tired. Some of us wandered around the area, soaking in the warm sunlight while checking out the local Walgreens, a beautiful park (with operating WATER park!) and a great coffee shop, while others got groceries, and then before dinner we played some football. The accommodations were way more than we had expected since it was a Church community house. There were three bedrooms, one of them had 4 sets of bunk beds, the other had 3 sets of bunk beds, and the third had a double bed. Two people ended up having to sleep on the couch but apparently it was super comfortable and they wouldn't have changed with anyone even if offered. We had a relatively early night since we had to be up early the next morning, plus most of us hadn't slept for a couple days due to the drive. I know I only got 20 minutes of sleep in the car.

On Monday, our supervisor Eddie showed up promptly at 8am to take us to our site. We all expected a bunch of people who knew what they were doing and a partially finished house... we were incredibly wrong. It was just Eddie and Hugh then us. And we arrived to a big concrete slab. It was kind of scary since none of us actually knew how to build a house, much less by ourselves! The first day was painful... I have never hammered that much in my life and my body could tell. Calloused hands and sore muscles from framing the house. We got up all the outside walls and a bunch of the inside walls on the first day, which was awesome, Eddie seemed happy with us. Lifting the walls was really cool, we had done all this work to nail the 2x4s together and make sure the headers were double boarded with plywood inbetween, then we actually got to raise the wall. We each grabbed a place on the beam and just lifted then nailed it to the concrete, it was really awesome and felt super rewarding! After work we dragged our tired bodies to the mall, and shopped for a couple of hours... I spent too much money!! We slept like rocks that night! Did I mention it was hot on Monday?!

On Tuesday, Hugh said, okay, 4 or 5 of you follow me over here. I follow him on over thinking "sweet something to rest my poor aching hand!" Wrong! We were assigned the job of putting up the chip board on all the outside studs. *For you American's chip board is Waffleboard* It was really hard, the nails like to bounce out of that stuff because of it's consistency, and it's easy to miss a stud or put in a crooked nail. We needed one about every 12 inches around the board and up the studs which is a ton. We worked on it from 8am until 3pm although we did take a lunch break. We had a great time though, I think that no matter how monotonous and hard the job is as long as you make it into something great it will always be something great. While we were working on the chip boarding, the rest of the crew was putting up the rest of the walls inside the house. We got up the first of the trusses today so the house started looking like a house! The mayor stopped by to see us and he declared it Wilfrid Laurier University week in Fort Smith Arkansas, that was pretty cool. He seemed like a nice guy, but definitely a polititian. We saw him at the mall later in the week and we said hi but he definitely didn't know who we were as he shook our hands and smiled. After work that day we headed back to the mall, I didn't get anything but wanted to be around all the people on the trip, we had an awesome group!

On Wednesday, the weather was horrible! Raining and cold (still above freezing but icky!) so we went to another site and helped do some inside touches such as inserting the draft blockers up on the roof that allow for ventilation and air flow and nailing in the metal straps that are supposed to stop tornados from tearing off the roof. We then unloaded about 200 sheets of drywall *American's that is sheet rock*. They were SO heavy but the job went fast with 18 of us working on it! We got off early but during cleanup Michelle and Cassie were fooling around and Cassie dropped Michelle out of the wheelbarrow in a BIG puddle of mud LOL... it was great! Since we got off early some of us went and saw some historic Fort Smith sites, but not all of them. On Wednesday night Hugh and his wife Priscilla invited us and Eddie and his wife to dinner at their house. They live in a gated community, it was gorgeous!!!! Dinner was fantastic, so nice to get a home cooked meal that didn't consist of mac and cheese or something to that extent. We had a casserole which was like lasagna with different noodles, some AMAZING garlic bread, a fantastic salad and delicious brownies. The night was lots of laughs and bonding with our new found Arkansas friends.

Thursday, we were back at our original site, sinking in the mud :S so we had to lay some straw. This was after I lost my shoe and almost fell in the mud as it suctioned off my foot! We got to lift the roof today! We got all the trusses up, which was awesome! It is such a cool process, some people are outside and some inside while 2 or 3 sit up on the roof. The outside people push them up to the person on the roof and then use 2x4s to slide them across while the people inside use 2x4xs to drag them in. It's kind of difficult to explain, but it's really cool to watch. We got off an hour early today since we had been invited to the homecoming basketball games at the University of Arkansas Fort Smith chapter. It's hard to get 18 people cleaned and fed in less than 2 hours! We had a pretty good time at the game and even got a tour of the campus, which is gorgeous by the way. The tallest player on the men's team was 6'10... I am pretty sure I would come up to his waist!

Friday, our last day on the site :( We were all wishing this day wouldn't come and yet it came so quickly. Today was the day we had to particle board the roof. It seemed easy enough, but I was down on the ground passing up the particle board and not up there nailing... we couldn't all be up there. We had our first accident, it wasn't too bad. Natalie got a nail right through her finger. She said she felt it hit the bone then bend to come out the other side. It didn't bleed too much, but she had to go to the hospital to check for nerve damage, a broken bone, get it cleaned out and an update on her tetanus just in case. We had Red Lobster donate lunch and it was yummy (even though I don't eat sea food they provided other things as well). At the end of the day a news reporter came to take our picture which would be in the Saturday paper... super cool eh!? We did a fair amount of work on our house and unloaded some stuff for other houses, and Eddie let us go early because Hugh wanted to take us on a tour of Fort Smith. It was great, he even took us to some neighbouring towns to show those to us and old Navy bases. Since it was our last night we all went out for dinner then to a bar, which we left early since some weren't able to drink. We bought some alcohol at the gas station (I know, WTF is that!?) and drank in a park hahaha! We felt like we were in grade 10!

We left Saturday around 1:30 after stopping by the mall for some last minute purchases and returns. It was much worse driving home then the drive there... strange I know! I had the most fabulous week, and while I'm glad to be home I wish it had been two weeks and not just one. I made some amazing friends who hopefully will not lose touch as we are on the same campus, and feel as though I did something to help a family. We met the couple who will live in our house, they are great, have two kids and the wife is working at Burger King as a manager so they feel as though right now things are just perfect. They should be able to move in within the next 6 months. We got back to snow and cold... boo. Now, back to reality!
"Life is worth living in Fort Smith Arkansas"

PICTURES TO COME SHORTLY

posted by Ashley at 1:52 PM [ ]
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Saturday, February 19, 2005
Good bye!!
Good bye!!

Well today is the day, I am leaving for Arkansas. YAY! We are heading down to build a house with Habitat for Humanity. Not only are we going down for a good cause but we raised the money on our own to get there. Countless bakesales, spaghetti dinners, bottle drives, etc. We are diving down, it's about 20 hours each way. I am driving my car, Christina is my back-up driver (she is one of my housemates) and then we have two mini Vans to carry our 18 people. We got shirts made and everything! :) I am excited about going but nervous all the same... probably because I have never gone on a road trip quite that far without my parents, oh and I have such opposite views of the majority of Arkansas. The town is really small and cute, you can see the mountains and a river, apparently everything is quite historic (I hope there is a mall). So yeah, this is my last time posting for a while, I hope everyone has a great week!

In the meantime, while I'm gone, help me fill up my comment section by asking me any questions you wish to have answered. If you ask me the right question I'll tell you the secret that is burning a hole in me! :-p

posted by Ashley at 2:51 PM [ ]
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Friday, February 18, 2005
I was okay...
I was okay...

So last night I posted about being all alone and how it would be lonely. It was, but then it wasn't anymore. Long story, but basically I had a great time and wouldn't have traded my night for anything.

But PS. Anyone who watched ER, what ended up happening with Neela and Ray and those three cute kids?

PPS. My night WASN'T excellent because of TV... I had a great time for OTHER reasons.

posted by Ashley at 5:01 PM [ ]
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Thursday, February 17, 2005
All by myself...
All by myself...

So I wrote my last in class exam today... well my last two, but the first one seems like days ago since I had another one right after. After I raced back to Oakville for a chiropractor appointment (I'm really messed up and wanted to be as fixed as possible for the 20 hour each way drive). Now, I'm home... alone. My parents are in Aruba still and my Brother has his own place... so I'm sadly alone. I realized last night that this is the first time in my life that I have been home alone, in this home at least, because I have been alone in my Waterloo student house. You may ask, how at 19 have you never been alone? Well we have had a dog my entire life... we had Roxie when I was born, got Syd when I was in grade 2, and Marley in grade 4. Marley and Syd were both big dogs, Old English Sheepdogs, so I have never been alone, and have always felt protected. I miss her a lot. Too much, and it's weird, being here alone... the house is so empty.

posted by Ashley at 11:40 PM [ ]
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Giving up...
Giving up...

Yup, I'm giving up, I'm going to bed. I just had a fight with my printer, it hasn't been working for days now, yet tonight I decided I HAD to print something which ended in me crying. The printer won but I sure showed that ball of paper I threw at my wall who was boss. I haven't slept for a while actually, that's normal, because I'm an insomniac, but I usually get at least 6 hours a night. Right now I'm running on about 2 hours each night, and while I can awake and generally with it, able to study and string sentences together I am an emotional wreck. I dropped my pen today and I cried. I took a break and watched That 70s Show at like 11:00 and someone said something funny, and I cried! Today on Oprah she did an interview with Dana Reeve... yeah I was a blubbering wreck. It isn't even like I only cry for sad things, it's pretty much anything. The temper and anger are there too. I mean, I have no real control over my emotions right now, so if someone pisses me off, I am telling them. I have two midterms tomorrow, then I am "done". I have a bunch the week after my break, which I have to get done before I leave on Saturday... well at least the one assignment due the Monday. I mean, I love my school, I love my program, I love everything about it, but right now I want to shoot myself in the foot. Maybe break a finger? That would mean a trip to the hospital which would take forever so I guess it would mean deferring my exams... *sigh*. I took a shower tonight, to try and relax myself, you know, make me want to study. I didn't want to get out of the shower because it meant studying so instead I washed my hair a second time. Yup, two times. I had washed it the first time, then I washed my arm, let the soap sit in. Washed my other arm, let the soap sit in. Etc, etc... and finally I had to get out... but didn't want to. So I washed it again. Too clean can't be THAT bad. I have fine straight hair, it won't do anything. Yeah so that's my rant, it's 4am and I am going to do another couple hours of studying before hitting the sack for a couple hours and then refueling my body with caffeine. I swear, I myaswell just take Awake Pills since I drink so much anyways. Alright, talk to you all later, hopefully I won't have decided to slip on the way to school and break something :p...

Ignore this post, it's quite annoying! Sorry!

posted by Ashley at 4:21 AM [ ]
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Wednesday, February 16, 2005
But he waved goodbye saying...
But he waved goodbye saying
"Don't you cry, I'll be back again some day."


It's over, yup it's officially over, and after some consoling from friends I am ready to talk about it. Without the tears. No nervous breakdowns. And nobody holding my hand. It's time I admitted to myself that I knew this was going to come, that it's all going to be okay. This afternoon I found out, and I'll tell ya, it definitely wasn't what I expected. Some of you may know what I'm talking about, it may have touched your life as well, so allow me to say, I feel your pain. The NHL has officially cancelled the 2004-2005 hockey season. *Gasp!* My boys in blue are still in my heart, they know that I loved them, and I always will, I just wish I could scream it from my family room couch or some nosebleed seats. My sweet boys, their passion taken from them. I know they are partially to blame, but really, blaming is so unnecessary. Besides, I'm sure MY boys want to come back, it's everyone else out there that are fighting. It feels like part of my family has been taken from me, such a central part of life. I have felt the strain over the past months, but while the hope was so slim I still wanted to see a couple of games. World Juniors were great, but I have to admit, I was angry and didn't enjoy the games as much as I should have.

It's no great mystery that I'm a big hockey fan. I play it, I live it, I breathe it. I bring home game trivia and stats to my family, and while they pretend they are listening I'm pretty sure they tune out by mid-season. Last year, Mike and I called ahead to make sure East Sides would be playing the game on the bar TVs so we could watch the NHL Legends game. It was amazing for anyone interested. Mike has always been a huge part of hockey for me. In grade 10 when we started talking before we went out we would spend hours on the phone during Leafs games, and then as we dated we continued, after breaking up hockey was still always there, it has always been something we can talk about and relate to and watch together happily.

The thing I'm going to miss most is screaming at the top of my lungs after my Boys win a game, when they enter playoffs and I sit with such anticipation waiting for that cup. One thing about Toronto fans is we will NEVER stop BeLEAFing!

Bettman: NHL season cancelled

Labels:

posted by Ashley at 4:32 PM [ ]
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Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Updating...
Updating...

People need to seriously consider updating their blogs more often when I'm studying for exams and writing midterm essays! There is nothing to distract me, which is driving me insane, I need some form of distraction so I can make my brain less mushy.

On the upside, I just got an e-mail from a really good old friend of mine who I miss terribly and the second I saw the MSN message pop up saying I had a message from them my heart smiled. Made me smile... at least for a fleeting second before realizing I had to go back to work.

posted by Ashley at 11:52 PM [ ]
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Wonderful tonight...
Wonderful tonight...

Okay it's not actually a 'wonderful tonight' but that just happened to be the song playing on my computer. When I study I listen to softer music, it gets me thinking. When I have my normal music on (punk and rock) I have a tendency to listen more to it then work on my school work, which isn't good. I am pulling a voluntary all nighter, meaning that this assignment isn't due tomorrow but I want to get it done. It's due Wednesday. I have two midterm exams on Thursday, something due in Religion and Culture on Friday and I had an assignment post-poned until the 28th, but since I won't be able to work the entire break I have to finish that before I go away. I'm stressed, I'll admit it. And I don't get stressed easily, in my opinion it just isn't worth it. Right now I'm feeling okay, but usually when I wake up in the morning it's the worst. So anyways, I'm writing this sociology paper (no shocker there since 4 out of 5 of my classes are soc) for my inequality class and it's really stumping me. I don't know why, I usually can hammer one of these out in a few hours, but this one just wants to be the death of me it seems.

I was looking online tonight at our Academic Calendar for next year, and I am actually excited about some of the sociology courses that I have the option of taking. There are definitely more than 10 which would fill up my entire year, and I DO generally like to throw in something different, spice the course load up a bit! I had a second major, Anthropology, but I don't know if I am going to be able to take it next year. You see, I took one of my courses last year, and one first semester of this year, but the exam had to be deferred until April because of my Grandma's funeral which meant I couldn't take this semester's Anthropology course therefore throwing off my marks and my course load balance. We will see how I do on the exam, the one I will have had 4 months between lectures and writing, it doesn't look too promising.

"Black birds singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly..." that's so symbolic of life! Sorry, the song just changed. I love this song so much, I don't know why, but it speaks to me.

I put my parents on a plane Sunday morning set for Aruba. I am so angry with them! Well not really, I'm just bitter. But they are awesome, and this past year has been rough on both of them so I know they need to get away. I just hope my Mom doesn't stress too much about my Grandpa in the hospital, or about my brother and I. She gets worried like that. While they are gone I am hoping to get a bit further ahead on the party planning. I grabbed my Mom's photo albums from the house so I can make a slideshow for the party, but I have to get them back before they get home or else she will know something is up.

I leave for Arkansas on Saturday, I realize I keep saying I will explain about this later and I guess there is no better time than the present! I am going to Arkansas with my school's chapter of Habitat for Humanity. We are going to build a house! I'm really excited, although I'm not looking forward to the drive, I have never driven that long before... well not as the driver! We used to do road trips as a family down to Florida when I was younger, but I just slept and read in the backseat. This time I have to do the hard part, keep people alive. I'm a little bit worried about our accommodations down there, we are staying at a house owned by a church. I am anti-organized religion and I don't want to feel obligated to attend any church services while there because I will have to say no. Anyways, I'm super excited, especially since it means getting away to somewhere warmer than here!!

I should probably get back to my essay... I'm not going to bed until it's done so I'm in for the long haul. But that's okay, I'm the Queen of all-nighters!!

posted by Ashley at 3:19 AM [ ]
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Sunday, February 13, 2005
Two months...
Two months...

It's been two months since my Grandma died, and I am doing a lot better then I was. I still think about her every day but it's with happiness and not sadness. I can talk about her life and her death without welling with tears, I am accepting the fact that she is gone, and wishing the same fate for my Grandpa, he is suffering way too much. I do still miss her and every once in a while I get a little upset, but that will take a while to pass.

Since my Grandma died my cousin, Hannah, who is 5, has been acting out. She has developed this attitude that tops any I have seen before. While she has become a little brat, I do feel badly for her, because she just doesn't understand why this has happened. She is five, she can't possibly understand why her Grandma and Grandpa (her Dad's side) died within a week of one another. She can't possibly understand that they won't be coming back. At my Grandma's burial she was holding my hand and kept asking where Grandma was, I told her that Grandma was in the casket and she should go up to it to say good bye. She waved. I love this kid and I hate seeing her hurt. But it's building character, and eventually she will understand. In the meantime she needs lots of hugs and love. I baby sat her and Sarah (11 months old) last night and all she wanted to do was sit in my lap and watch a movie.

With time comes healing, and acceptance. With time comes realization.

posted by Ashley at 5:25 PM [ ]
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Thursday, February 10, 2005
Valentines Day...
Valentines Day...




Valentines Day. Just those two words when strung together bring malice to my heart. I think Valentines Day is one of my least favourite days of the year, and why? Maybe because it's so overdone, it's completely commercialized!! I'm sure Valentines Day has some sorted history that makes those die hards convinced in the power of Love, but I think it's all a load of bull. Valentines Day is all about filling that gap between the Christmas rush and the Easter fanatics, and Hallmark reaps all the benefits. Is Valentines even suited for today's masses? Personally I think Valentines Day excludes same sex couples, when was the last time you saw a Valentines card with two male bears sharing a heart, or a display that seems gender generic. No, it's all about being the white Prince and buying your beautiful Princess everything her little heart desires. Valentines is all about the cards and the gifts, another stupid holiday that makes people dig in their pockets for some loose change only to come up with nothing but lint post-Christmas extravaganza. And yet hoards of masses fill the stores on February 13th looking for the perfect gift to add a pretty red bow to.

Some say I hate Valentines because I am single, but I choose to be single. I have had Valentines Days before with boyfriends, but I refuse to celebrate the day as something special. I feel sorry for the guy I end up marrying if he has the February Love Bug, because he is going to have to give himself those roses.

I obviously don't condemn others for liking the superficial holiday, but for myself, I would rather avoid the subject until the day comes when I have to face it for real.

posted by Ashley at 11:25 PM [ ]
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Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Make peace, make love...
Make peace, make love... UPDATED

[Note: just wanted to let you all know there is some (like one) sexual comment(s) in this post, so I guess don't let your kids read?]
***

I was skimming through some of the blogs that I read occasionally and I came across one at Jethro's website on a commercial during the Superbowl. I dutifully clicked the link and after watching this clip decided to share something with you from my own beliefs. I am very against war. Nothing will ever change my mind about that, I hate it, I think it's unnecessary and if war could solve all of the the worlds problems they would surely be solved by now. However, I have a great deal of respect for everyone, both man and woman, who fight for their country and it's cause. I think that they are incredibly brave, strong and miraculous individuals and they should be honoured in every way that they are plus more. So while I think what they are fighting for is horribly unnecessary I do admire that they are in fact fighting.
***

I have been on birth control since 2002, it hasn't FELT like that long! There is this common misconception that I went on it to have lots and lots of unprotected street corner sex... okay not really, but people do think I went on because of sex. In reality, I went on it because I was sick and this is the only way the doctors figured it could be fixed. So far it has been working great actually, but I'm a little worried that there will be negative repercussions. Nobody is really sure what was wrong with me, but my body was not impressed with something going on in there, they think it was anemia. I would start to get very warm, then the room would start to spin until it reached the point where I had to sit down, I would usually pass out, and sometimes I would be sick. I wasn't going to go on the birth control, I figured I could handle it, that eventually the problem would fix itself, then one day I was at school and it started to happen, I immediately excused myself from class and went into the girls washroom, I didn't make it into the stall before falling to the ground and blacking out. When I came too, probably only seconds later there were people around me, apparently I had hit my head on the stall door. I made an appointment shortly after that and I have been fine since, perfect actually. Don't get me wrong, the copious amounts of sex have been great, multiple times a week sometimes more than once a day and the only inhibition being the thrill of being caught; but the main purpose of this particular medication was not a pleasurable one, I would love to stop taking it, it's a pain in the butt!! Now I'm going to Arkansas for a week and have to mess with my times and such, I hope I don't get sick while over there; I could just see me trying to hammer a nail and putting a hole through the fresh drywall!! Oh well... (see not much explicitness!) The whole point of this part of the post was to say that since I have gone on birth control I am very emotional. I never used to cry about anything, now, show me a Mastercard commercial or better yet an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition and I'm a wreck! It really sucks!
***

I just found out that my extended and now divorced family is insane... not that I didn't already know! My Uncle Herb (Dad's brother) called my Dad yesterday at work to ask some advice, my Dad is a lawyer. His ex-wife, Betty (mother to my cousins Paula and Melissa) just found out that her brother Steven was murdered, but the other brother George. Yeah that's right. Apparently Steven was trying to commit George in the hospital and the hospital said there was nothing wrong with him, they were wrong. They have found Steven's body, but they can't find George's wife and kids. He threatened Betty, so she went to his bail hearing to make sure he wasn't going to get out, he didn't. But the wife and kids are still missing afterall. I am so happy this isn't in any way related to my family. Although she still has her maiden name so maybe you'll hear about it in the news!

posted by Ashley at 11:30 PM [ ]
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Gifts for your Valentine....
Gifts for your Valentine....

This is an 'article' I wrote for the school paper... some version of it will appear in the issue that comes out tomorrow. This is my original... Shirley very well might kill me for posting these pictures... but she'll get over it! hehe

I should probably let you know now, I hate Valentine's Day, I'll go into that later though, for now, enjoy the top gifts that can be found on the Laurier campus!


1) Heart Shaped Shortbread Cookie with Jam filling $1.61
@ Second Cup
For less then a toonie you can charge these delicious treats to your one card, buy one for yourself and one for your mate and you can both share in this fun alternative to the extravagant gift! Not only do they taste good, but everyone can use a sugar fix this close to exams!



Tickets to see FAME the musical $10
@ The Turret
This show is on before Valentines but everyone loves to get a gift in advance! Showing on Thursday February 10th, Friday February 11th and Saturday February 12th there are many options to get out and see a great show. Just don't forget to say something on the real date!



Magnetic Poetry Kit $29.95
@ The Bookstore
With different editions ranging from Erotic to Love this fun gift can be naughty or nice! Inside the colourful box are 400 words and word fragments for many poetic possibilities. Who knows what might be spelt out...



Bath Confetti and Handmade Soap $7.50 and $8.95
@ The Bookstore
Light some candles, run the water and scatter some rose petals and you will definitely be in someone's good books. Nothing says romance like a nice hot bath, just make sure if it's a University residence you wash the tub first. The soap comes in yummy scents such as Sultry Sandalwood and Citrus and Champagne and Strawberry.



Message in a Bottle $12.95
@ The Bookstore
With colourful glass bound together and hanging with a bottle at the end, these classy yet fun decorations can hold a little message saying just how much you care. Whether it's just the classic 'I love you' or 'Friends Forever' who doesn't want a little note that says you care? Hang it from their bedroom light and surprise them when they get home from class!



Turtles Chocolate in a Heart Shaped Box Big: $17.22 Small: $11.47
@ The C-Spot
With it's festive shape and classic taste everyone loves Turtles Chocolates! Share a box with a loved one or buy one for yourself! Everyone deserves a little treat sometimes.



Charity Ball Tickets $45.00
On sale in the Concourse
Get all dressed up and share in this magical night on the town, as an extra bonus it's in support of the Canadian Mental Health Association! The event is on March 5th and will include a magnificent dinner and dancing. Salad, then your choice of Entree served with fresh rolls, two vegetables and potatoes or rice, and topped off with a delicious white chocolate cheese cake.



Classic Stuffed Animal ranging from $2.99 to $24.99
@ The C-Spot
Nobody can go wrong with the classic stuffed animal gift, with ranging prices you're sure to find something you find to be perfect; even if it is just the oinking pig for $2.99. Anything soft and huggable will be a big hit.

posted by Ashley at 11:42 PM [ ]
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Baby Caden
Baby Caden


Leanne's baby Caden... my "nephew"... I sent him this Leafs jersey for Christmas, it is still a little big because I sent it for their winter but isn't he adorable in it!!!!


I have no inspiration to write anything. I have things to write but just don't have the mental means to write them. In the meantime enjoy this picture of Caden!

posted by Ashley at 1:14 AM [ ]
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Monday, February 07, 2005
Something to talk about...
Something to talk about...

Have you seen that movie with Julia Roberts? I like her as an actress, she seems quite diverse, but regardless of whether you like her it's a good movie. It seems real to me.
***
So Saturday was my play, it went SO well. Much better then we could have asked for actually, which sounds funny, but it's true. There were only two mess ups, one back stage and one on stage. On stage someone broke a martini glass, and backstage someone spilt a whole cup of water. So neither were a big deal, we had a great time, and the audience was laughing the entire time! It was fantastic, I am actually giddy about it! Afterwards we didn't really want it all to end, we discussed going to a bar, but everyone couldn't go so we kind of split up after standing around talking for about an hour. In the end Kyle, Andre and I decided to grab a pita... we had been at the theatre for hours and none of us had eaten anything. It was the best tasting pita I had ever had!! *Mmm...!!* I took some pictures, none on stage since I was well... backstage and on it lol... but some before and some after. I already miss the idea of getting together three times a week for three hours at a time... it was time consuming and at times annoying, but I loved it because well... we had fun!

My lovely cast... minus one
Ashley
***
It has almost been two months since my Grandma died, I can't believe it's been that long actually. Apparently Hannah 'broke my Aunt's heart' today, my Aunt Liz told her that they were coming to our house for dinner and Hannah said, "But we can't go without Grandma, she is ALWAYS there." Poor kid. It's the little things I'm missing the most now, for example, every February we have a family dinner to celebrate my Dad, Brother, Uncle Herb and Uncle Wayne's birthdays, now out of all those only Wayne has married into the family. Anyways, when she would come for dinner she would always bring us cinnamon hearts and mail us a valentines card. At Easter it was always the little plastic tasting Easter eggs... it was just something special... the little things, ya know?
***
I just uploaded a bunch of songs on my computer from my old computer, I already mentioned this in my post about my boys last year... anyways, one of the songs that I had somehow forgotten about was sent to me by Mike. It was during a period we weren't dating during the summer before grade 12, I was "seeing" Doug at the time I think. Anyways, Mike sent me this song and said it was sent in friendship and such. After listening to it I'm pretty sure I had a little anxiety attack, and basically told him that's nice but it's over. I'm pretty sure I was harsh... we weren't on non-speaking terms but we didn't communicate on as frequent of a basis, and to be honest the song freaked me out!! It was very emotional and just gave me this funky feeling inside. So... nothing happened. Then a couple of months done the road we started getting close, it must have been March by then since I dated Emil for six months in between. I refused to be his "girl-friend" I liked the casual dating, but eventually I caved. He took me on the most romantic date ever, and then my formal was amazing. I went out with him after that... what girl COULD say no?! Listening to the song still brings these funky goosebumps to my arms, I remember exactly what I was feeling, what I was thinking. So I'll share the song, I can't find a music code for it, but I can give you a link to the lyrics. Check it out, I know it made my day back in 2002. "Best I Ever Had" by Vertical Horizon. Mike and I will never be "together" in the traditional sense again, we don't do well as an official couple. But... does that really matter? Almost four years of memories made together... who could complain? :-p
***
As a quick aside, I hate people who complain all the time. I know this one girl who is always griping about something. If it isn't about school then it's about her boyfriend. It drives me up the bloody wall! She was all angry tonight because he went to a bar with his friends to watch the Superbowl.... how immature is that! It's not like it's some momentous occasion for them, she just wants control. Okay, I had to get that off my chest!

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posted by Ashley at 12:11 AM [ ]
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Friday, February 04, 2005
My solitude...
My solitude...

So, following the lead of many great writers before me (well I think they're great, I'm sure a lot of you will agree!!) I am posting the illustrious pictures of 'where I blog.' Curious? Probably not. You're probably like me and saw that there were pictures in this post and already cheated and scrolled down to look at them. So, now that you're back up here reading to see if I actually had anything important to say, allow me to share with you. This is where I blog right now and until the summer, at my lovely Ikea desk here in Waterloo. I don't blog from University. I don't blog from my HOME in Oakville. So now you can see where I get my inspiration from... and don't get my inspiration from. I am currently attempting to write a Religion and Culture essay which is of course due tomorrow, but it's a Distance Ed (DE) course and I just have to submit it electronically so I have until 11:59pm. I'm not worried... well not a whole lot. So here I sit listening to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and sharing with you, where I take my solitude from reality.

My desk... everything of importance to me is within close distance of my desk, but then again my room isn't that big. Up top you can see [from left to right] the picture of Lija and I, my webcam... many a conversation has taken place over that, my candles and tart burners (currently burning "Fresh Peach" in the blue one), my picture of Mike and I from Formal, and the bear my brother gave me at graduation wearing the birthday tiara. On my desk, usually more cluttered but I had JUST cleaned, you can generally find bottles from drinks, pens and paper, and of course my Red M&M!


To the left of my desk... my TV with DVD and VCR, my bookshelf, mostly full of picture frames to be honest... and my large movie collection. You can see in this picture my one blue wall, my ceiling is also blue... in case you can't tell all of the other walls are a nice pale-ish yellow. Like a summer breeze.


Behind my desk... [finally] is my bed, I love my bed!!


I hope you have enjoyed a glimpse into my life. Thanks for letting me escape for a little while and share with you.

posted by Ashley at 1:30 AM [ ]
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Thursday, February 03, 2005
I love my cousin!
I love my cousin!

Not in THAT kind of way, but he has always been my favourite and I called him tonight expecting maybe a 20 minute conversation, we talked for two hours. He lives in Winnipeg, good thing I used a calling card!!! He is actually my Mom's cousin, which makes him my second cousin (??) but he is SO awesome you would never guess he was 40. He threw himself (along with someone else) a party for his fortieth and the invitations read "Everyone's favourite five year old turns four-ty." His motto is, "you can grow older but you choose to grow up." He's an awesome guy, and I miss him a ton, I can't believe he has been gone for 8 years!! I remember he came and visited me when I was in the hospital, at the time I was so drugged on morphine that I thought he had flown all the way in for me, he was actually in town for a conference. He came back the next day when I was doing a lot better and brought me some magazines, he still comments on how upon giving them to me I said "Finally, someone who understands me!" And he does, he truly does. He is always telling me to be who I am because I'm an awesome person and encouraging me to do the things that I love. Unlike some of my family he supports MY motto, "I would rather die a poor woman and have done everything I want in life then die with lots of money and regret every day." I want him to come for my Mom's surprise party, hopefully he can make it... he is pushing for his work to send him out for then. I miss him so much, have I said that yet?

We had our tech rehearsal today for my play, it went pretty well. All the cues are set up, and everything seems to be flawless, but that's all an "act". One of our cast members has an appointment tomorrow with a doctor, apparently she has some lump in her throat and it has to be removed. She is supposed to have the surgery at the end of February, but she might have to have it done tomorrow if there is a huge problem. She doesn't think there will be but told us today that maybe someone should memorize her lines... :S We're a little worried!! I had something else I wanted to write about today, but I am blanking out, so I shall leave it at this and maybe write my "something" tomorrow.

Oh yeah, one of my housemates was heading to bed tonight and she walked over to Nancy and I who were sitting in the kitchen talking to her and each other, and said, "woah, I was coming over to hug and kiss you good night! I thought you were my parents!" We are way too close of a house... lol

posted by Ashley at 1:29 AM [ ]
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Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Exhaustion
Exhaustion

I am sooo not feeling inspired to write anything, which sucks because I have to write an article for the school paper by Saturday. I am better, illness wise, at least I hope so. I am exhausted, all the time, and still weak, which really worries me since they said I might have Mono. Despite my tattoo, and multiple piercings I am terrified of needles, especially ones that TAKE something from me. So I won't be getting a blood test unless my kidneys get sore. I also might be exhausted because I have so much going on in my life... I'm hoping it's the latter. My play is on Saturday, I'm very excited about that, I think I want it to be over so I have more time to do other things, but I also don't want it to be over because I love my cast. I am hoping it will go off without a hitch.. that would be FANTASTIC! *hehe* Although, currently one of our cast members has no voice, and another one has huge lumps in her throat and is losing her voice... yay for pre-play sickness... it's natural and always happens!!! What else do I have this week? Hm... a few assignments due, but none are over 6 pages, so that's okay. I have to get a super big start on the planning for my Mom's 50th Surprise Party because in 2 weeks I have a major "hell week" and then week after that I'm heading to Arkansas (more on that later). Any advice from people who have done this before?

I have to do some work... and try and make my body wake up... all I want is to climb in the comfy bed behind me!!!!

PS. YAY FOR SAVANNAH!!

posted by Ashley at 11:36 PM [ ]
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About Me



ASHLEY
WATERLOO/OAKVILLE

It's time to make a few changes. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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