I'm heading out for a week to build a house with Habitat for Humanity in the deep south. I'll be back sometime on the 26th but will be sleeping and watching episodes of Grey's Anatomy :-p... and probably studying for the three midterms I have on the 27th and 28th lol

So, at 7:30 this morning I was awoken by the thunderous pounding footsteps of my roommate, Christina, as she ran down the stairs and through the hallway (almost falling) and her screaming voice as she yelled "SCHOOL IS CANCELLED, IT'S A SNOW DAY!" It was cute, because she was trying to whisper, but it was more of a "hushed" yell and definitely made me sit straight up in bed. Last night I stayed up until around 4am studying for my midterm at 11:30 this morning, which was, obviously, cancelled. So, I am now sleep deprived and screwed. You would think this whole school being cancelled thing would be good, but it's not. Now, when I get back from reading week I will have a midterm on the Monday and two on the Tuesday (the one from today and the one I already had on the Tuesday). Studying for those two was already going to be difficult while away, but this will be downright impossible. Gah... oh well...

The funny thing is, we don't really have snow. I mean, there were about 6 inches on the ground this morning, and apparently freezing rain which is why they closed the schools. I went out to the mall today and the roads weren't even slippery... strange. Anyways, this would mean my reading week started a day earlier, and I guess it did sort of, but unless there is another snow day tomorrow I will be in meetings for Arts Council during the morning and afternoon.

So, today, since there wasn't school I had a nap (seeing as I only got 3 hours of sleep for nothing it was needed), went to the mall to pick up stuff for my trip including my American cash, watched the Canada vs Germany hockey game, and watched all of our medal winning races/events (Canada kicked some ass today). Right now my clothes are in the washing machine/dyer and tomorrow after my meetings I'll pack. Then I'm off :).

So, I have a midterm tomorrow. A pretty big one full of crazy questions about things I don't understand but hopefully will by the time they hand me the test paper. You would think this would scare me, (well actually it does) but instead I'm watching the Olympics because, well, I'm addicted. I need to go to meetings or something, I swear I watch more Olympics than any sane person actually should. I even spice it up sometimes by switching TV networks and seeing what those people over at NBC have to say about an event. Anyways, here I am, with my book on my lap unopened and watching the Olympics while ignoring the voice inside my head telling me to turn off the TV and unplug it from the wall.

Oh well, as of tomorrow I will be midterm free until getting back from the deep south where I'll build a house (with Habitat for Humanity) and have an awesome time.
PS. Two guys totally just wiped out on the luge and one is unconscious, I hope he's okay.
PPS. Not including hockey, because that's my favourite sport to watch even outside the Olympics, I am really enjoying all of the skiing and snowboarding events this year, oh and speed skating. Not that all the events aren't fascinating, although the cross country ones don't hold my interest.

And so he said to the people, "let us create a day, one day, once every year to celebrate our love for one another, let us commercialize it and turn into yet another money sucking day, and finally, let us forget about said love until the next year when this special day rolls around."

I'm so sure this is what good ol' Saint Valentine was thinking back in the day, don't you? I hate Valentine's Day. No, that's not right, I detest it. I haven't liked the idea, or the concept of Valentine's Day since I was in grade school, but of course at that point I just liked the fact that every student gave you something and you had a party with cupcakes. Now, I see the irony in the holiday. Why must we have one day to celebrate the love we have for one another? I think this is something we should show on a regular basis, not necessarily with gifts, because gifts are not love, but with acts of kindness and respect. So today I will eat cinnamon hears (because that's the best part of "the day") and treat it as every other day telling those I love that I love them and remembering that there may not be a tomorrow. You shouldn't wait until another 365 days have passed to show you love someone, do it today, do it tomorrow and the day after.

*Updated to add:* While I am vehemently against Valentine's Day and the commercially driven day that it is, I should admit I don't dress in black nor do I wish someone an "anti"-Valentine's Day in return to their well wishes. I did bring heart shaped cookies (which my Mom lovingly made for my roommates and I) to my night class and I gave my parents a card because I didn't want them to go without. When I have children I plan to celebrate the day because they will deserve what I got as a child. When we woke up on Valentine's Day morning my Mom would always wishes a Happy Valentine's Day as she made heart shaped pancakes with strawberries on top. We would open the holiday themed paper or gift bag on the kitchen table which would contain some gift, generally characteristic to the holiday. And she would send us to school with treats for the classroom party. She was an awesome Mom like that. Anyways, while I don't agree with the holiday, and I don't choose to accept it as a "holiday" nor do I think it should be the only day of the year when people show their love for one another, I also don't discourage others nor do I express my distaste towards their choices. I am allowed to have my opinions, and I will.

I just went outside to get something from my car, it's just after 2:00 in the morning and everyone has gone to sleep. When I stepped out the front door you could tell that a soft layer of snow had fallen since I got home at 9:30. There were about two inches of untouched perfect snow twinkling on the ground. As I walked to my car, laying the first foot steps on this newly fallen layer everything was silent around me. There were no cars in the distance or people yelling from the bars, everything was calm and peaceful. The moon and the street lights reflected off the crisp white snow leaving a soft light all around me. Peace. Moments like these are hard to come by in University but tonight I got one. Sometimes I wonder if someone or something out there knows exactly what I need to be okay.

Today were my Dad and my Brother's birthdays, they turned 55 and 27 (respectively). I have never been close to either of them, yet, I was always my Daddy's little princess, funny how that works. I suppose I don't have much to say about this event which is sad because I feel like I should have some sort of funny story to tell about the two of them. While there are stories I don't necessarily see them as relevant right now, at this point in life, they have become mere memories of the past and the past is a place that you can never live. Some days those memories seem more important while on other days they feel like the only remaining thread in the brittle relationships I hold. As I build on something with the brother I barely know, I lose the pieces of a father who never seemed to be there even though he wasn't really gone.

So this weekend I will go home, I will sing happy birthday and put a smile on my face for the uncomfortable photos and ill-timed jokes while I sit and wonder if the threads will hold or if the whole thing is going to crumble when I least expect it to. Because despite everything these are the people that I love with all my being and I would go to the edge of the world and back for them. Happy Birthday Dad and Chris, if only sharing a birth date meant sharing so much more.

That's one of the things written to me in the thank you card from Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I was asked about a week ago if I would be willing to speak on behalf of the organization at a United Way Allocation meeting, basically just telling them about my experiences with the group and trying to pull on their heartstrings. I felt incredibly touched that they had asked me to do this since I've only been with the organization since September, but Malcolm (the case worker I deal with) told me that I was the first person who came to mind when deciding on who should speak. I tried not to smile when he told me but to be honest it felt fantastic. Yesterday was the big day, I wasn't nervous because I'm pretty good in social situations and speaking in front of big crowds but I did feel a lot of pressure to be great. I figured if they thought I had "what it took" I needed to show them that I did. Also, I wanted Malcolm to be happy because I totally have a crush on him (not in THAT way, but a "you are doing such a great thing with your life being a case worker and you ask me questions that show you really are interested in how I am/my well being PLUS you remember things I tell you for long periods of time"). When I got there we just sat and chatted for a bit, Malcolm, Jill (another case worker) and myself, then eventually I sat down with others from the Big Brother/Big Sister office and chatted with them until the United Way people showed up.

I am happy to say that the talk went really well. I felt great afterwards and had a couple of people mouth "great job" to me when I'd finished talking. The best part was, everything I said was honest and true and it felt natural because of that. I even had the whole table laughing (and it was even a part that was meant to be happy). There was another girl there talking on behalf of the in school mentoring program so between the two of us I really hope we convinced them to give the money, the organization really is fantastic. I see the differences in the kids after being in the group, they seem to grow as people while having fun, which I think is what really matters.

Anyways, after it was all done Malcolm walked me out and gave me a thank you gift, a gorgeous metal travel mug with an engraved logo on the front of BBBS, and told me that he thought I did well, which obviously made me happy haha.

Little Tidbits
I went to Guelph on Saturday... in a snowstorm because it is FINALLY snowing here in Waterloo and saw Brokeback Mountain with Heather. It was nice to see her and the movie, while sad, was good.

Last night I wrote the coding for a new template on my friend Emily's blog, so check it out. (Link: It's My Life)

I just got back from skiing, my roommate is going to Whistler for reading week and doesn't know how to ski so since we FINALLY have snow I took her out and showed her some stuff... she might need another lesson but we'll see.

Stolen from Jason despite the fact that he didn't tag me (I really don't want to do my work)

Four jobs I've had
1. Williams Coffee Pub for 3 years... and to think I never once drank anything with espresso, thought the stuff was nasty, now I'm addicted!
2. Law office since 2001 both part and full time summers.
3. I volunteered in a daycare center at my old elementary school and loved it!!
4. Um... I guess I babysat...

Four movies I can watch over and over
1. Well ER which isn't a movie but I don't care. I watch the DVDs multiple times.
2. Mighty Ducks (1-3)
3. Almost anything with Julia Roberts because I think she is a genuine person and I really like that about her.
4. Almost any happy ending movie actually, I watch a lot of movies since I have to fall asleep to one every night or I don't sleep. I go through fazes, right now it's ER so I can't really think of any.

Four places I have lived
1. Oakville, Ontario
2. Waterloo, Ontario
3. Etobicoke, Ontario (until I was 1)
4. um... Alice Springs, Northern Territory, Australia (when I lived with Lija...)

Four TV shows I love
1. "ER" duh
2. "Grey's Anatomy"
3. "Gilmore Girls"
4. "Prison Break"

Four places I’ve vacationed
1. Veradera, Cuba
2. Whistler, BC
3. Terezin, Czech Republic
4. Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland

Four of my favorite dishes
1. Lasagna
2. Pizza
3. Mac and Cheese
4. Stuffed tomatoes

Four sites I visit daily
News:
1. The Toronto Star
2. Wilfrid Laurier University

Blogs:
1. Anna Dilemna
2. The Big Yellow House
3. Plus all of the ones on my side bar

Four places I would rather be right now
1. Europe
2. Asleep
3. In grade 1 so I was just beginning this journey with all it's ups and downs
4. Laying next to a dog on a warm floor

Four people I am tagging
Nobody, but if you do it, please tell me :)

I don't understand why this is happening. I mean, why would you do something like that, what have I ever done to you?!

No but seriously, don't the writers of Grey's Anatomy KNOW that I'm emotionally involved with the lives of these people?! They can't just make me wait a whole week to find out what is going to happen, I mean... COMMON!!

Yeah, so right now, I'm somewhat flustered and not in a very good mood... I mean, are they going to be okay? I'm sure they will... but something has to happen, right?

Any thoughts??

My whole life I have always wanted a sister. Someone I could gossip with under the covers and who would be there when I came home from a bad date even if she was mad that I was wearing her clothes. I have had friends who have been like sisters, when I was little it was Karen and Elizabeth. We were best friends and I felt as if I could tell them anything. Karen moved away and with her moved our close knit friendship, these were the days before e-mail. Eventually Elizabeth and I drifted apart when we went off to different high schools, but as a kid she was there for me. We would have sleepovers and talk about boys, we even made a time capsule in which we wrote what our future husbands would be like. I wish I knew where it was today. I know mine was tall and muscular and of course handsome, but I don't remember if he was a brunette or blonde. As I got older there was nobody really there to tell things to. Friends came and went, people changed and long distance phone calls became more of a burden than a pleasure. Lija has been very close to a sister to me, we have a bond that won't be broken, but she lives thousands of kilometers and 14 time zones away. It's almost ridiculous to wish for a sister, it's not something that can come true, I'm 20 and need to face that reality. But I still wish because sometimes I just need someone to gossip with under the covers and hold my hand when I need a little help.

PRESIDENT
Allan Cayenne

VICE PRESIDENT: UNIVERSITY AFFAIRS
JD Muir

BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Lauren McNiven
Janice Lee
Josh Periard
Emily Anson
Bryn Ossington
Yusuf Faqiri
Kathryn Easton-Flynn
Colin LeFevre
Freddy Enriquez
Matthew Park
Asif Bacchus
Mike Tsuchiya
Jonathon Champagne
Agatha Przybylska
Joshua Smyth

SENATE
Colin Lefevre
Daniel Pannozzo
Joshua Smyth
Bryn Ossington
Mark Ciesluk

BOARD OF GOVERNORS
Laura Gray

REFERENDA
LSPIRG: YES
By-law 24: YES
2004-2005 Statements: YES
2005-2006 Auditors: YES

Yesterday, I took joy in the little things. Because even though things aren't better and I don't think they will be in the near future, I want to be happy. Yesterday:
- I woke up remembering what Mike had told me just before bed the previous night, how his Dad said I looked hot with my new hair cut. And I smiled, because he said I look hot.
- I found mail addressed to me when I stepped outside in the morning. One of which was a slip saying I could go pick up a parcel from the post office containing the 343 digital photos I ordered off Kodak.
- A text book I need for one of my classes finally came in at the school bookstore.
- I looked at the LSAT study guides because a good friend of mine told me that he believed in me.
- When walking home from school the sun was shining on me, little snow flakes were falling, I was listening to my music and a bird soared through the sky above me.
- The elderly woman working at the post office was nice to me as we joked about my instinct to use debit for a $1.23 purchase. She told me to have a good day, and sounded like she meant it.
- I held a door open for a woman with a baby carriage and she smiled and said thank you. The baby was adorable and sucking on the string from it's cute little hoody as it giggled.
- I saw the day care kids playing on the play ground as I went to park my car.
- I got a parking spot near the door.
- I ran into a friend of mine on campus who I haven't seen since January and we caught up on the last month of our busy lives.
- I had dinner with my Habitat friends as we planned our trip in February.

And then, I watched Crash in my Race and Ethnicity class and lost hope in human kind. Okay, not really. But I think that as people we need to be better and stop judging and condemning people by the colour of their skin or the religion they follow.

But then, when I got home I was able to laugh with my roommates and talk about boys as we watched Gilmore Girls and pretended we had no work to get back to. I also realized yesterday that ER is to me what crack is to whores, and I find that moderately amusing :-p

Thank you everyone who has cared, I know you're all there and I love that about each and every one of you, but I'm not ready to need someone right now. But thank you. Every comment made me smile, laugh and cry because I know you care.